Another type of reality...
- He saw the dog, liked it a lot, gave me a thousand pounds down payment with a promise to fulfill the rest of the money in a couple of days.
- So, ….
- I went as agreed to collect the money but he paid only 500 pounds while he owed me 2000 pounds.
- Why, was something wrong with the dog??
- No, the dog was fine, but you know how people are, they would want something so bad till they get their hands on it, then it is no longer precious to them.
- That is so true.
I never forget that day, i was driving on the ring road heading back home after a hard day of teaching 8 classes per day at a school that paid me 600 EGP per month, then going so far to gesr elsuez road to teach privately a challenged child that needed help and who’s mother paid me 30 EGP persession twice a week…it was a hard day because i was so tired, felt sorry for myself as every inch of my body ached…I had to get food for my kids…and back then, i was punished for ending a hurtful marriage and my dad cut me off completely…afternoon that winter day, it was raining…my tiny old car couldn’t fight the strong wind that actually was about to push it off the road…i held the steering wheel with both hands and bent over on it with my chest trying to stabilize the wheels…i was taking the slippery ring road back home…i was thinking a million sad, tired and frustrated thought…and the old cracked tape played Michael Jackson covering “smile“
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just…
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just…
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile…
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
The way he sung it…on that afternoon…was really sad… felt he is singing for me and asking me to smile…but there’s a sad tune in his voice singing it…so tears relieved me…and his sad tempo was the compassion i needed.
I have grown up listening to MJ as a teen, as the 80s had a king and a queen…Jackson and Madonna…to me and most of my generation he was astonishing….his amazing moon walk was copied all over the world and all over Egypt’s discos and parties…he had something very sweet about him as a black man…and he had something very true about him as a white man…he did what he wanted and he sung what he felt…Dirty Diana was about him being cheated on, Liberian girl was about the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and she was Liberian, Thriller was about the unique artist he was and with it he made history, leave me alone was addressed to the paparazzi who chocked him with gossip and interference, man in the mirror was about his flashlight in the face of severe judgment and injustice towards his personal preferences and many other great songs, with his amazing vocals and amazing talent as a musician, dancer, song writer and singer.
Today, his death really felt awful…it is like a piece of my teen years has lost it’s grounds…I loved his music…I didn’t buy all the gossip…it came out of hate and people thought of him as a good catch for embezzlement…he had a great smile, a smile of a child….so damn sweet…and then he had changed his skin, looked different, but never acted nor sounded different….people mocked him and hated him for being different yet that never stopped him from being copied all over the world…and never stopped the world from admiring his exceptional talent.
It feels awful that he is dead, it feels weired as too many memories connected to his songs are jumping up and down in front of my eyes…Tarek Michael heheh a 13 year old boy who imitated him perfectly, my neighbor from an old house and a weired phase…Palma discotheque where I and my friends used to dance to MJ music on weekends with our glitter sprayed hair and flashy gloves…my wall to wall poster ed room that witnessed too many trials to master the dangerous routine… tens of tapes recorded my voice singing along with the moon walker video…and that afternoon when he sung…smile.
The Egyptian term of trick…
- When you find an ad for a discount on meat from 50 EGP/ Kg to 24 EGP/ Kg : akeed yeb2a fee trickaya!!
- When someone who has been known of being very very rude with EVERYONE, then suddenly you find him/ her very extra nice and sweet: akeed yeb2a fee trickaya!!
- When you are being asked to go out for too many dinners, too many lunches and much drinks for no apparent reason by a very cheesy person: akeed yeb2a fee trickaya!!
The trickaya doesn’t have to be a sign of a con. it could be a way of handling stuff in a curvy way…in a slick way…in a sneaky way to get what you want.
In that case, and to the other partner, it would still be a trickaya!!
It is the minor meaning of the conspiracy theory everyone is babbling about/ against!
It is the personal guard that flashes the blue and red lights whenever something seems too good to be true or too promising than usual.
Who does not experience that feeling, does not suffer the agony of doubt and worry and who has it all the time does not enjoy the bliss of peace.
So, hmmm, what is the trickaya now b2aaaaaa?!!!
So, after we had a very nice meal of grilled lemon salmon fillets, we felt sleepy – as usual after a sea food meal- so we relaxed watching cartoon then turned it off and both kids offered to pamper me with a very lame feet massage hehe (tiny hands Vs. big feet).
So, Hassan(8 ) began a conversation by asking a very innocent straight question about how couples “agree” to get married.
It wasn’t the first time my kids discuss their thoughts about those difficult to handle issues with me…they are always free to ask and i always respond as honest as i can while maintaining the child friendly picture and vocabulary!
He then asked, what if one refused, and do they need permission to remarry…i answered simply as we laughed some words they couldn’t pronounce correctly and silly thoughts…then Jumana (6) asked: how do couples know they want to get married, I answered: well, they feel they can make a good family and they are nice together and like each other so they know. she asked again: OK, who asks first, and i found myself automatically answering that the man asks first and quickly she asked: why?? why not the woman?? the Hassan asked the same and i said: well, she could but normally the man asks…they both exclaimed: why wouldn’t she normally ask him. they both paused, looking at me waiting for an answer…
Well, I explained that it’s something people agreed on “somehow” and became the norm.
They weren’t convinced why would people agree “somehow” on that…yet theychanged the subject and kept asking me how come i am not pregnant and getting them a baby to play with, so, i explained that i have to have a husband first and i thank god they have not asked WHY…Jumana remembered that i had her in my tummy and delivered her so she asked: mama, have you opened your tummy?? i said yes, to get you out to life…she asked: by yourself?? so i explained non graphically about the c- section.
Now, kids questions raise important points…
What puzzles me is: If most customs people “somehow” agree to make them the norm and generation after generation those norms get more deeply rooted to the extent that people can fight battles and kill lives to defend them, If most customs are man made…centuries ago…centuries ago some man or woman sat one night and decided that their way of thinking is right, applied it on their sons and so on and so on…so, a private thought that served a private matter and a man/ woman best interest developed to be a norm for a society or several!!
While other norms were configured by men or women that had the power to apply their thoughts on masses of people…
I just remembered when the Egyptian family laws were changed because Jihan alsadat cousin wanted divorce…before that happened, the famous movie ” oredo 7alan” was the way egyptians dealt with women asking for divorce, but Jihan made it a tad easier, not that she needed to change laws ;)
Anyways, now, someone loooooooong ago made the rule – for an example – for men to propose and women to get all blushed and whisper yes while looking down to the floor.
In Islam, for an example of religions, and that was LOOOOONGER ago, ladies asked to marry men they liked and in a very elegant way and vice a versa.
So, Norms don’t have to be attached to religion to gain importance and validity…actually most of them have nothing to do with religions. yet they gain same level as laws sometimes.
Question is: are you willing to let a norm made by someone long ago to serve his own interest, RULE YOUR LIFE??
My answer is: If it defies what I believe or want, my answer is NO.
and this is no 3antary response…What i believe is my private book of rules that I choose for my life…what i want is what i choose to use to live with, it maybe man made, a custom, a religion or such norm.
It may not be that simple but really really, it should!
On a last note, if that was how a norm would start, we should watch out to keep our private set of rules…private??!!!
The country, the people and the land never cease to surprise me.
It is the rise when all expect the fall…
It is the pride when all i can see is humiliation and greed…
It is the fortune among millions of dry hungry mouths…
The accomplishment when all i could see is failure…
The generosity and compassion among a stealing thousand hands…
The beauty under layers of dust and hay…
The elegance among tides of chaos…
A second of calmness in hours of screams…
And tranquility and its comforting sensation among the crowds…
My country never ceases to surprise me, just as the system that rules never surprises me!
The system never surprises me with a bold act of righteousness or justice…with a simple act of balance that could stabilize the patriotic feelings of the nation…with a strong grasp of freedom given to every Egyptian…with a legal practice that could be labeled : FAIR…with a regulated organized humanitarian protection from the police force…with a more reasonable distribution of wealth…with a useful educated curriculum that could actually add some IQ…with a more classic and proud international affair…with a glimpse of democracy… with offering less fear, more smiles and much peace…
Maybe then, when i express my great love and affection to the country…how i cherish every face and every lane and every drop of water Nile or sea…I could have a stronger argument, I could have valid proof…instead of a shaking voice and an ache in the heart.
I realize that for the sake of balance, nature has to have a beast and a prey…
I just wish for Egypt to surprise me…to exist with less sharks and more dolphins!!!
Finally I was granted a meeting…we met last night and as usual it wasn’t anything like i expected.
I’m benchmarking the phase with my resolution for the past six months:
Surprises within and surprises from the world are a healthy sign that there’s a synchronization…If one or both didn’t occur, i need to worry, as we never stop finding out new things to learn…new problems to solve and faults to make us enjoy being worthy humans.
Fear and confusion should be respected…then, they would be the anchor that would make us strong again and work for a better mind…if we studied about swimming for years, we can give lectures but we can never be good swimmers…and if we tried and found out that the book failed to make us know how to swim we’d panic, only after that would we make our best to survive.
As long as the path you want to follow meets the standards you’ve chosen to be your beliefs…as long as it doesn’t hurt YOURSELF or others…you have the right to want WHATEVER that would make you happy…you could eat molokhia as a soup, as a stew or as a dough or just lay down on the floor and pick the green leaves and make a necklace out of it…WE ARE FREE TO BE AS DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE AS WE CHOOSE TO BE.
When I learned that i have to define an anchor for myself to hold me down to my grounds and stabilizes me while the world is causing turbulence to my waters…I chose the learning process to be just that…yet, I never realized that we have a built in anchor for the stability…and we have them glowing to our attention…five times a day…i just need to meet the glow when it calls me right on time.
Order, continuous clarity, ordinary rhythm and such…are nice; yet, they are not who i am. my gift is the passion and goodness experienced in the chaos, in the search of clarity and in the originality of my different rhythms…If i would follow a pattern…I would die…
I love life, the universe and I when i subject myself to such meanings…
I was overwhelmed by that love and couldn’t express many emotions and thoughts but by a flood of tears…
I was let go to discover more on my own…i fought that again as i only need the reassuring comfort that I’m part of that universe i love…my fighting didn’t work…
Today is the beginning of a new phase…and I have my love for Allah as my anchor.
I realized long ago that most people are too demanding…I never understood the greed…never the continuous expectations of too much from people as if it was granted…as if it was their right.
There are obligations I understand.
A parent is obligated to provide for his kids…A wife is obligated to feed her baby…a company is obligated to pay salaries…Yeah, I understand those obligations where people should really demand their rights in them if they were ever subjected to failed deliveries of such obligations.
What I don’t understand is people building more demands upon those obligations and actually have the nerve to ask for more from people…especially if those people were giving …actually very giving!
I would never understand an employee who would ask for a raise after one month of employment and before earning any credit…I would never understand a grown up son who’d ask for a brand new car every year…I would never understand a friend to ask for an expensive gift or a sacrifice that cannot be tolerated… an unethical stand or such!
However, Even If I choose to give too much, I believe that I shouldn’t expect as much or anything for return…that is stupid really.
To me, I prefer saving myself unnecessary disappointments and enjoy other people’s giving as a nice surprise…and surprises are never a right…they are just nice gifts and gestures of love.
Expecting is as burdening as demanding…on both parties…
Problem is, the giver is exploited most of the time…as takers get used to receiving from the giver’s generosity to the extend of treating the giving as a right.
bigger problem is, if the giver is not an idiot or anything…
Major rare surprises where you offer to much with a good heart to someone with better heart and would make sure he’s as giving or just decline gracefully if he felt it was too much to accept…if his pride and dignity are more powerful than the lust of taking!
We all go through both situations when we are givers and rebel on the exploitation,when we are takers greedy or not and when we give from our heart and find appreciation and love in return.
I chose to minimize my demanding a long time ago…since i was a child actually…without much drama here, I’ll just say that the way it felt to be turned down stings me till now. so, expecting is not really among the settings of my mind…and nice gestures from loved ones ARE in fact the gift of my life.
Relationships should always be authentic in feeling, light in obligations and demands and true in commitment.
All kinds of relationships must have a ground…a base…of exchanged rules of respect, honesty and love…then materializing those must be as sheer as…well, as ice tea (hehehe, yeah I love it) refreshing, not too sweet and not heavy to digest…Lemon or peach flavored would be OK!
And I take another step and i reach to open the window
And I try to see ahead although i can’t even see my hands
I feel the presence all around…the scent …the glow
And i try to reach to hold your hand…but there is no chance
It’s a very long long way to go
Keep saying I’ll see what it’s hiding
Time will set you free…no more hiding
Time will set me free…but time is still raw
Maybe you can hold me
Erase my thoughts and their voices
Maybe you can grab those moments back
Easy was life…clear again those memories
Two words keep moving the bell from side to side
The ringing of the bell waves my spirit and my head from side to side
Two…not three…nor one, were written after spoken
A promise that could never be broken
How possible is my cruelty…my insanity
How believable is my disbelief
The fear that stirs a thousand fear
The owl that keeps crying every time i imagine serenity
And i take a step again…reach for a crack in the wall
scratch it wide till my nails mash into tears
How sad…My words I mean…NO:
I’m here, you’re there…and still is hope after all!
I couldn’t express myself here on blog nor with friends because i didn’t wanna end their (Inso. in particular) short span of happiness with worries about me.
So, for the past three days the following has occurred:
- My ex show up leaving my kids and myself very disturbed and unbalanced.
- My boss managed to piss me off to the extent of leaving the office and going on a strike.
- My mom isn’t feeling well…her health bothers her and I bother her.
- “A” has never been that depressed since his hardship began.
And I…I am exposed to the tides of all these…
The most disturbing of all is the Ex deciding to show up all wasted and stir my kids emotions hard then disappear again.
The most disturbing is discovering from my 8 year old boy feelings and ideas he has been having for years now…very difficult thoughts and feelings…nightmares about his dad and the wife…disturbed confused feelings about family talk that – lelasaf – grownups couldn’t think better than speaking in front of a 6 year old (my son’s age back then).
Kids demand what i can’t give simply because they don’t understand how bad it is…yet, it leaves me very sad to see my son trying hard to fight his tears…then fail as they drop while he explains confused feelings that hurt.
I have great worries about the life I’m planning to have for them and for me now that the ex gloom have filled our sky…
silly enough…I have nothing in my hands to do now but wait a bit for things to calm down…i am staying home till next week…work will wait…it’s shitty anyway…i need to be close to my kids…and wait…the painful dreadful waiting.
Have i mentioned how dreadful waiting is…I’m waiting for “A” to come home…waiting for things to calm…yet…mainly I’m waiting for my share of peace and some happiness…i don’t think it’s much to ask…
I am waiting…
My favorite singer, May favorite song and i just can’t stop hearing it in my head….
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While youre far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And Im wondering what youre dreaming
Wondering if its me youre seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever
Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing
How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I’m sorry for the things I’ve done
But when I start to try to tell you
That’s when you have to tell me
Hey, this kind of trouble’s only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don’t you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That’s why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me…
Why
Why
I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you’re thinking
And I’ve heard it said too many times
That you’d be better off
Besides…
Why can’t you see this boat is sinking
Let’s go down to the water’s edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me…
Why
Tell me…
Why
This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I’ll never tread
These are the dreams I’ll dream instead
This is the joy that’s seldom spread
These are the tears…
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel?
‘Cause I don’t think you know how I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
You don’t know what I feel
About the Lebanese and the hair:
No no, to clarify my situation i have to start with only one statement about depression: I was soooooooo blue that i really needed to do anything and everything possible all at the same time to lift up my spirit…so, one of the quick fixes all women know of, is either shopping or a new look…and because i decided against shopping for the second time in a few weeks, as i didn’t loose the weight i targeted…i went for the new look.
A few months back and in another tide of depression i changed my hair DARKER…and Ewwww, it was so not for me…needless to say that seeing the mlatash dark various colors on my head (it’s a quick pack applied at home) caused severe post depression depression (if there’s such a thing)…
Last Thursday i decided to correct the damaged strands into a very “ME” color and i went to the pro.
The manager of the high class hair dresser understood my demands and referred me to the blond expert who after understanding my dilemma referred me to his assistant ( a girl ) to apply his instructions on my hair…the expert was a lebanese artist (as he calls himself):
- hala2 enty badek alwan lebnaneyeh…enty lebnaneyeh??
(u need Lebanese colors…are u Lebanese *with a cheesy smile*)
- No, I am not, Egyptians can have fair complexions and some color too…you know…5el2et rabena! (creation of god)
- No no, beki shee lebnany…ana mosser!
( no no, you have something Lebanese about you, i insist)
- (just to shut him up cause i felt slightly uncomfortable) aha, i have a Lebanese branch in my family…yet, Lebanese aren’t blond aslan!!
- aha…ba3ref ana !! hehehe
His assistant took me to a private section and started putting so much aluminum foil on my head that i looked exactly like a 7alla (cooking pan)
After like 45 minutes she washed my hair, wrapped it with a towel and as i sat on the chair in front of the mirror again and as she took off the towel i saw a batch of very bright ORANGE color on my hair and i actually screamed!!
She went out talked to him…i put back the towel and started freakin’ out on them (that was not the time of my life where i would shut up about an orange hair out of embarrassment!!) he was offended as i explained that i DIDN”T ask for an orange on my head…i just wanted to be blond again!!
- Ya madam, wallah 3ayb…haydi alwan lebnaneyeh!!
- bala lebnaneyeh bala batee5…i would never have this color
- Ya madam…hala2 ma mbayan…bado blow dry…
I had to sit back and let her blow dry my hair…in three minutes i was blushing while every woman around was Wowing the shades…yes not one shade…of the very nice color i had…it was really good and i didn’t see the orange…
OK, i freaked…i wasn’t patient…i apologized for sounding bay5a and offending the Lebanese artist (baladeyati hehe) and I couldn’t say one word when he decided to get back at me by making me pay double the price for the having the Lebanese colors.
Well, I liked it and i paid 
And yeah, it cheered me up…
Oh, have i mentioned that one of the reasons i needed the boost is that I’ve been Audited at work for the past 10 days by vicious Dubai auditors??!!
but hey, nothing a good Lebanese treat wouldn’t fix
I’ve always been amazed by how fast paced my life is…how diverse, how changeable and how quickly i adapt.
A year that would pass by with no change at all for people is a life time of events for me…I realize i do freak out…but my style in freaking out is to panic deep inside without stopping to realize my full emotion.
That undecided method have brought me both, troubles and blessings…impulsive you may think…well, yeah…sometimes…but i always let the excitement of the new adventure drive me and pushes me towards the exploration.
As I write this I’m recalling vaguely incidences of stupid thrusts towards the worst of pits but i also recall, more clearly, various life changing blesses.
Being impatient also helped accelerate my steps towards whatever that may seem appealing to me …being with less ties and more will power than some ( especially after my dad passed away) cleared the way for me to run.
Do I feel all of the previous is an ace for my favor…not really always…I just realize the facts behind the race i live (aka life)
One thing I’m proud of, I never abused my -relatively- free will…even when i decided in favor of things that turned out to be hurtful …I was never aware of its nastiness and chose it regardless…no, I can claim that i never see ugliness in things unless it’s very CLEAR or against my taste ( a huge flaw of mine)
I am the sort of person whom if credited freedom can nourish the world with righteousness and if chocked and disabled will definitly dry and die…
Now, that being said, what I’m experiencing now is one of very very few times in my life when i had the time (I hate time) and the chance to think and prepare for a new phase…
Although the decision was already made…the style, the rules, the type, the way and every other detail is being prepared in my mind hundreds of times a day.
It is like preparing for a new adventure with all the excitement that relates to that…yet, it is no simple adventure…it’s a life changing commitment that i am CHOSING to take as lightly as possible for one reason and one reason only: In my particular case…if it’s taken otherwise…it would be ruined and i would NEVER want that…
I can’t wait for my partner to take the lead and plan along but until the partner is fully present and involved…i will keep on thinking a hundred times a day about the exciting new page I’m willing to share writing.
Fast paced…too rapidly changing, if i might say…then again, we never have much time, do we.
I remember using this word a lot referring to objects or actions i despise.
I remember using this word three or four times in my whole life referring to someone that i despise.
I always thought it is a hard word to use among people…especially close ones.
HATE
I was stunned to hear a mother who’s good most of the time, telling her daughter who’s also good most of the time, that she hates her!
They were not fighting…it was coldly and calmly said.
I wonder how could the woman feel this way and I can only imagine how the daughter felt…although she didn’t say a word but looked stabbed in the back…
That word is so cruel, so sharp, cuts through the heart and it is so painful…
I would understand hating someone who is horrible and caused me lots of harm…but i know the daughter…I know how she loves her mom and tries to please her all the time…I wonder why did her mom felt this way.
Such a harsh word.
I promise, not to ever hurt someone saying it…ever.
I heard the song
where she’s waiting
in a pitch dark room
alone…anticipating
I saw it in a movie
where she’s wandering
down some long road
alone…aching
I’ve read it in too many books
watched it played by too may crooks
the promises of angles and heavens
and in a second…good ridance!
The way i felt it was …it
The sound of it…the lace that wrapped… it
how close…how it had to fit
A place that would take a whole world of hearts…and a bit
Rocking a boat
writing a thousand note
with an essence of a rose as sweet as kisses
a melody no one hears…no one misses
Your love to me…is true??
As deep…profound…alive as you??
Your promises would be kept??
No matter the struggles and the nights I wept??
OK…and a ray of light will show
OK…and even fights would show
OK…even the first hello
OK…do you even know??
I doubt…hell no!
I’ve waited in a pitch dark room…alone.
I’ve cried down that long curvy road…alone.
I’ve written a novel and two…where i played all characters…alone.
I doubt…I get scared…scard…then I know…alone!
I have read this piece of news:
In Kenya women have chosen to use sex as their tool to force opinion!
In Kenya, wives of leaders have made a sex strike against their husbands to force them end political struggles.
In Kenya, women are a living proof of how typically stupid women could be thinking they are using the alleged female wit while they are really stressing on a few lines that have been tagged to women for centuries now that includes how women are all about bodies and no brain.
Well, Ladies of Kenya, you have successfully done two things with great glamour:
Not only glamour…but have put your country on that map of fools…How smart is that!!!
It is just like beating up or starving a child or instead of talking him/ her about right or wrong.
So lame…so ignorant and so humiliating for: WOMEN to declare that they don’t have any other point of strength but a piece of ass that was actually created in them not achieved by them.
Come on!!
Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I’m falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can’t move.
At times I can hardly breath.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there’s no one else alive
You’re the one I’ve always thought of.
I don’t know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You’re where I belong.
And when you’re with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there’s no one else alive
[bridge:]
And this journey that we’re on.
How far we’ve come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That’s all you have to say.
I’ll always feel this way.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I’m alive
When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?
* This is how it feels…
** Click on the link and enjoy the angelic voice of Josh Groban…
I’m so pissed off, I can’t sleep, I can’t talk…and I can’t just swallow it and shut up.
And It’s all about a couple of questions…just like the one i titled the post with…
That’s a story…Now, on the other side of the island…
I was offended years ago when my Lebanese family branch made fun of Egypt and said that it’s a country of 7ashasheen (smoke pot)…were I naive??
I knew some time recently that lots of people do it…but i never imagined of the social status, age range and class of my neighbors.
Yet, what concerns me the most…
I’m calling it a night…hmm, now really??? the night has ended already and it’s a new day…a day i have to work through…
@ 4m, please tell me…why would all that go wrong?!!!
In the jam of life
people who shove and strive
dream of bread and steel
or cut it short and steal
In that crazy life
love is consumed to sell a shirt
a frozen rose in a pot of dirt
two tattoos under a mini skirt
In my mad life
where pain is an afternoon tea
where mind is a deal for cheap
where words loose meanings as they repeat
You come along
with a promise to last for long
wave a true flag that glows with nothing wrong
hum tunes that attract me to where you’ve made me belong
you say the word love in a melody
it seems weired to my eyes and ear
no man pulses emotion
no man claims no motion
No man lives for a heart
No man demolishes the start
of every attempt to be apart
no man worships the sound of a woman’s art
you promise the love of all years
you cherish the color of my all tears
you give away the power that would seal
your own life, just so i could believe that you’re real
your happiness lies in my smile
your passion lies in the isle
your dream is to reconcile
me to your heart with a million stars and mile
In the jam of life
In that crazy life
In my mad life
how can i believe…how can we survive?!!
How can i trust…again
that men aren’t just the same
that love won’t be so lame
in vain…
I trust your eyes
your care that hides beneath the cries
I trust your heart
your flame and what no one dared to realize
I will close my eyes
Inhale the Jasmine scent
fly…ascend
and reach those skies….your skies.
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