Finally I was granted a meeting…we met last night and as usual it wasn’t anything like i expected.

I’m benchmarking the phase with my resolution for the past six months:

Surprises within and surprises from the world are a healthy sign that there’s a synchronization…If one or both didn’t occur, i need to worry, as we never stop finding out new things to learn…new problems to solve and faults to make us enjoy being  worthy humans.

 

Fear and confusion should be respected…then, they would be the anchor that would make us strong again and work for a better mind…if we studied about swimming for years, we can give lectures but we can never be good swimmers…and if we tried and found out that the book failed to make us know how to swim we’d panic, only after that would we make our best to survive.

 

As long as the path you want to follow meets the standards you’ve chosen to be your beliefs…as long as it doesn’t hurt YOURSELF or others…you have the right to want WHATEVER that would make you happy…you could eat molokhia as a soup, as a stew or as a dough or just lay down on the floor and pick the green leaves and make a necklace out of it…WE ARE FREE TO BE AS DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE AS WE CHOOSE TO BE.

 

When I learned that i have to define an anchor for myself to hold me down to my grounds and stabilizes me while the world is causing turbulence to my waters…I chose the learning process to be just that…yet, I never realized that we have a built in anchor for the stability…and we have them glowing to our attention…five times a day…i just need to meet the glow when it calls me right on time.

 

Order, continuous clarity, ordinary rhythm and such…are nice; yet, they are not who i am. my gift is the passion and goodness experienced in the chaos, in the search of clarity and in the originality of my different  rhythms…If i would follow a pattern…I would die…  

 

I love life, the universe and I when i subject myself to such meanings…

I was overwhelmed by that love and couldn’t express many emotions and thoughts but by a flood of tears…

I was let go to discover more on my own…i fought that again as i only need the reassuring comfort that I’m part of that universe i love…my fighting didn’t work…

Today is the beginning of a new phase…and I have my love for Allah as my anchor.